


JJ Maybank imagines

by petapaka



Series: JJ Maybank Imagines [1]
Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:13:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28861605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petapaka/pseuds/petapaka
Summary: imagines based on the kleptomaniac surfer boy with blonde hair and daddy issues
Relationships: JJ (Outer Banks)/Reader
Series: JJ Maybank Imagines [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2172441
Kudos: 16





	1. RoofTop

**Author's Note:**

> you can also follow me on tumblr :) -- @sunsetholland

“why are we even here?” jj’s exasperated tone of words sent the pogue’s including sarah to eye roll.

“i would much rather be on my couch watching monster inc.” jj’s childish tone evaporated around the north carolina frightful breeze that lure them further into the land of predators.

sarah huffed not wanting to row with the blonde beauty. she frankly understood his anti’s of not wanting to prey on the sharks or even share the same air with them, but, sarah was still a kook and jj needed to accept that.

“j, we can just head in there for an hour… drink their alcohol and leave.” john b proposed letting his athletic, sternly hands fumble his way into sarah’s palm gifting her with a reassuring squeeze.

jj’s mind was like a cymbal-banging monkey toy that only worked when the indigo eye boy was frustrated and needed leverage, “we are about to attend john b’s girlfriend ex-boyfriend’s house party because sarah’s ex-boyfriend invited her, and only her.” jj dramatically paused to reminded everyone how fucked up this particular mission is.

“and, here we are, the pogues forcefully dragged by topper’s ex-girlfriend to attend this disgraceful party that could end in two possible ways..”

“enlighten us.” pope’s static tone of sarcasm intrigued jj to finish his perfectly thought out rant.

“a fight breaks out, or rafe loses his shit.” jj’s arm folded whilst a devilish smile grew onto his bruised porcelain face that everyone admired about the surfer.

“i hate to agree with scobby but he has a point.” pope’s loyalty to jj never failed him.

kie and sarah kept moving forward, dragging their danity flipflops through the frozen golden grains of the earth that held the rich side in place. being the only two girls of the group they were used to the constant complaints from the men.

“next time, i’ll just invite you kie.” sarah muttered under her minty breathe. kiara only nodded in agreement reaching for the handle to enter the shark’s den.

“best behaviour,” kie announced immediately locking eyes with jj who was infatuated with the silhouette of another human.

“can’t make any promises, kie.” he winked as his eyes were still glued to the frame of darkness that interlocked with his mind that he should be up there and not here.

“here we go…” sarah murmured under her breath. “what could possibly go wrong?” kie shot her eyes back to sarah who only swung the door opened to be slammed with harsh tones coming from the stereo.

topper was known for throwing the most extravagant house parties. the music was as loud as thunder; it made the empty beer bottle rattle. neon lights that were glued to the white walls flashed everywhere like police sirens, but with much more inviting colours.

over the roar of music, a distant, hazy chatter could be heard. topper, rafe and kelce were chatting up some ladies as there vision was blinded by a bunch of pogues roaming around like cockroaches.

“what are they doing here?” kelce mumbled against the illuminated ruby plastic cup that rafe already broke through his rage.

“topper is still whipped for my sister.” rafe truthfully announce, causing the blonde short skirted girl to loose interest in his friend.

“thanks man.” topper’s eye rolled extended further as he noticed john b clutching his arm around sarah’s frame, like he used too.

“anytime.” rafe smirked pulling kelce’s bright yellow polo shirt towards him to confront the intruders. topper soon joined, staying behind rafe as he didn’t want his perfectly structured face to be bruised.

“what are you rugrats doing here? you aren’t allow to be on our turf.” rafe spat not even making eye contact with his younger sister whose frame was hidden behind john b’s and jj.

“we got invited. we just came here to get a little drunk and we will be on our way.” jj broke the silence, squaring up to rafe’s face.

“don’t make me bust your other eye, maybank.” rafe threatened, clenching his palms ready for another battle.

“wouldn’t dream of it.” jj took kelce’s red cup from his hand drowning the stinging sensation that drew him away from the crowd.

“where you going?” pope shrieked as he didn’t feel comfortable being left with john b, he wasn’t exactly scary like jj.

“washroom. i’ll be back.” jj reassured his best friend, whose hand was tightly gripped to kiara’s whose face wasn’t enjoying the sensation sound of topper’s music taste.

jj’s curiosity always managed to get himself into trouble, whether he was looking for it or not. his mind was reverted back to the shadow of a young female who was on the roof. he knew he shouldn’t be preying around topper’s house but, he would of regretted not knowing who that girl was.

his tiny frame ran smoothly around the second floor, each creak that he created with his ripped combat boots made him squint, he noticed a slight acute door open slightly with a streak of light hitting the wooden floors.

the bedroom was furnished on a expensive budget according to the serval layers of blankets that were freshly pressed on the double bed. a messy pile of book were scattered across the white carpet that was caressed with a circular rug that was neatly combed.

he looked up at the walls, admiring the pictures that were taken on a film camera.

“whose’s this girl?” jj thought as he circled the room, slowly resting his palm on the slik sheets wishing he could have a room like this.

since jj was in a trance of what his life was like if he was kook, he was startled by a soft tune of a sneeze coming from the windowsill. his intrigue body motioned away from the bed, heading towards the half adjecent window that his mysterious girl was resident.

jj’s instincts were never wrong when he assumed the shadow of a girl on the high roof. his head turned towards you, your fully eclipsed body was tainted with a summer dress that fit well on your skin. under his brief gaze on your exposed skin, you didn’t flinch or withdraw from your book. your shape was already forming into womanhood, yet you were roughly the same age as sarah: your twin brother’s ex-girlfriend. you revert your attention out of the flood of flowing words and focused them on him, he was something out of a novel you read once.

dashing, adventurous and fearless. you were polite and offered him a seat next to you, letting the moon expose your vulnerable side which jj instantly stole as he gently brushes his shoulder against your own.

jj eccentric side was displayed out in the open and didn’t hesitate to make the first move. “what’s a pretty girl like you doing on a roof?”

you sauntered in, feeling provocative whilst you brushed your hair from your dainty shoulders, letting his kindly eager cornflower eyes follow your movement.

“i’m not really into the whole drinking vibe… my brother on the other hand is.” jj’s pupils grew larger as he pieced the puzzle together, he knew he wasn’t the smartest earthling on the island but he just couldn’t see the resemblance between you and your brother.

“how is that possible?… topper has a sister?… why didn’t sarah mention anything?”

you personally thought his reaction wouldn’t be inviting but, his reaction to the news lured you in more like he was siren calling for you. “well, when my parents had topper… they decided to conceive again, making me.”

jj nudged you chuckling at your comeback, “i know how sex works. i’m a maybank.”

“noted.” you candid staring at the apex of the deep sliver circle that brought the both of you together.

a heavy silence evaporated over them, thicker than the mucky air making the tension more uncomfortable. both of your eyes glanced unceremoniously around turning to avoid catching each other glances that happened in the space of a minute.

“what you reading?” jj noticed an earthy hued of brown colours stuck to her embrace which jj gazed forced him to stare to create a new conversation.

“charles dickens, great expectations.” he noticed your awkward zoned face shape into a curious, cheeky smile that he first noticed when he intruded.

“cool. i don’t read but charles dickens is a great man. one of the best lads out there, wonder what he is doing now?” jj wondered having no idea that he is in fact six feet under.

you burst out a giggle with a sentiment rosy colour appeared on your cheeks, “hate to break it to you but the lad is dead. he has been dead for centuries.”

jj was perplexed by your statement. he generally thought he was still alive due to pope always speaking about him as if he was a local. “i knew that. i was testing your knowledge on charlie.”

you chuckled playing along with his shenanigans but you would be lying to yourself that you weren’t intrigued in the fact that he was sitting here when he was supposed to be downstairs. “how comes you are up here? i thought pogues loved a good party, especially if there’s alcohol.”

jj shrugged darting his eyes to meet yours, “don’t take it personally but i’m not a fan of kooks, especially topper and his gang.”

and this, you thought was going to be the end of your story with the blonde boy. you weren’t shocked that he degraded your brother and his friends, you understood the reason.

“i get that. if it makes you feel better, i don’t exactly agree with their rules and how they treat you guys. you deserve the same respect we get because one day, shakesphere’s novel of romeo and juliet might come true and, i personally don’t want to kill myself…” you flirted in a way which the boy would probably take days, in fact, months to work out the metaphor.

“does that make me remi?” jj joked as he kind of liked the way your nose scrunched when he didn’t understand literature.

“it’s romeo…” you corrected him again.

“i know. i just wanted to see that little nose scrunch you do when i mess up.”

you were stunned that he paid attention to little things about you. it wasn’t every day that someone would paid attention to topper’s sister, especially a pogue. you could sense that he was actually interested in you, and even the novel you were reading.

“whatcha thinking about, juliet?” jj teased letting his hand move the strand of hair from your face, tucking it safely behind your acute ears.

you shrugged, “i just…” you paused, you didn’t want to pride your thoughts on the pogue as you didn’t want to scare him away.

“c'mon, pretty girl. what is it?” he interrogated you. he looked down at your fingertips, loosely fighting with each other as you were struggling to form words. he initially engulfed his hands into yours brushing your soft skin to ease your mind.

“you are kind of the first guy to ever notice me, or even pay attention to me… i’m just don’t want this night to end.” you stutter but with every stroke, he did made your nerves drift away.

jj instantly brought his broad arms over your waist, pulling your body against his. in seconds your bodies moulded into one. jj never let another human be so close to him like this, not even kie. you were different, you weren’t like what he thought you would be. there was a purity to you, naivety perhaps, but with a scent of innocent that jj wanted to protect from the creatures of the night.

you, on the other hand, felt something inside you ignite as his arms firmly were wrapped around your frame. his embrace was like a welcoming invitation to his life, which you would accept in a heartbeat. you didn’t really want the party to end nor wanting the moon to disappear as that meant your story was ending.

“you see those two stars that are moulded into one… that’s you and i. whether you feel lost or feel alone, look up into the starry night and call me.” jj managed to sound romantic for a slight second which only made you blush more.

“poetic… i like it maybank.” you winked whilst your hands fiddled around with his countless threaded bracelets. “i like this one the most… the colours match your eyes.”

jj immediately took the bracelet off, offering your hand. “you can have it. i’ve seen you admire it since i got here. i have plenty back at home, so this is my peace offering.”

you silently accepted the gift, watching the bracelet fit perfectly onto your bony wrist. “it’s beautiful.” you muttered to yourself.

jj curved his lips as he slowly lifted your chin up, to get a good view of your face. he admired every little detail but concentrated on your lips. his head was angled slightly to the side as his lips went closer to yours, lighting pressing a small kiss to your rosebud shaped lips. when he kissed her, her identity fell away. it was slow and soft, comforting for the both of you as your tribes rival melted away. jj’s hand rested below his ear, his thumb caressing her cheek as he kept the flow of their lips going neither of them wanting to stop but, the calls from his friends parted them away.

“i better go… they are probably worried that i’ve got into a fight or something.” jj’s face frowned watching your own do the same. “i’ll see you tomorrow night, here.”

“are you sure? i don’t want you getting into trouble…” you felt your walls began to build, each brick that layered made it harder for you to think that he would ever get into trouble for her, a heartless kook.

jj hooked his arms to your neck, “don’t worry about a thing, pretty girl.”

you nodded, letting him steal another kiss from you as you watched his frame leave yours. a gush of emptiness flooded your body, as it called for him but he was already gone, vanished into the mucky air of north carolina. you rallied back to your book, looking down at the texture smiling down as you saw him leave with his friends.

“jj, where did you go? we were looking all over for you?” sarah was the one who instigated the conversation since the rest were zoned out.

jj kept it at a minimal, he didn’t want his juliet to be known especially not to sarah, “around.”

sarah hummed not believing anything jj was saying. as they entered the van, sarah noticed a small figure exiting from the roof, “is that y/n?”

jj looked up, watching as you were clenching onto your book rather than watching your balance. “so that’s her name..” he muttered to himself giving his face a warm smile.

sarah turned hearing jj’s comment but decided to play along, “i wonder what she is holding?”

without even realising jj answered, “charles dickens. great expectations.”

sarah only smirked leaving jj to slam his palm onto his mouth, feeling the metal sting his bruised chapped lips.

“we’re you macking on with my ex-boyfriend’s sister?” sarah interrogated the blonde beauty.

“let’s just say that you need to tell me all the ways to sneak into his house.” jj blushed, letting his left foot bring his body up into the van.

sarah followed behind, looking up one more time to see you peeping, “you got it, lover boy.”


	2. Rocky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New to the Pogues, you weren’t familiar with JJ’s fighting habits, when he stumbles into the chateau black and blue, feelings are thrown into the after match.

When your mother announced that you were moving to a smaller town, you weren’t expecting this. Kildale, North Carolina was your new resident for the next four years. You weren’t exactly ecstatic but you were curious to see what a simple life can bring you.

After weaving through the labyrinth of roads, the paths eventually coverage and revealed your new home. Broken trees, tangled bushes and chipped paint was now your safe place. 

“You’ll love it here. I promise you.” Her mother grinned. 

“Yep, paradise on Earth.” You mocked but your mother’s smile only grew. “That’s the spirit. You’ll make friends in no time.” She promised, leaving you to take in the salty breeze that tangled through your hair.

Months went by and you were happy, secured with your friends. They were a little dysfunctional but you considered them family. You met Kiara first, one of the best days and memorable days. The Wreck was a safe place where free meals would come your way, if you promised to work there.

Kiara then introduced you to the boys, or you’ll like to call them: Draco, Harry and Ron. They reminded you of fictional characters that were too good to be true.

John B instantly grew a liking towards you. You weren’t predictable as he thought any new girl would be. Pope loved your view on literature, whilst JJ admired your recklessness when it came to messing with the infamous Kooks.

It was an ordinary Friday night which was known as party night, but somehow the Pogues weren’t feeling the need to mope over Tourons. JJ was out, probably finding new ways to get into trouble since he already committed every crime. So, you were quarantined with the rest but your mind was too occupied with JJ’s disappearance to focus on the show.

“Has anyone heard, seen or even, spoke to JJ tonight?” You randomly asked which they all immediately shook their heads. If JJ wanted to be found, he would call but something inside your stomach made you feel he was in trouble.

“I think we should look for him. It’s pretty late and he usually arrives around 10pm. It’s 10:30.”

Yourself and JJ had a bond that no one could describe, unless they witnessed the two of you in action. The both of you confined each other when things got rough, he admired the way you never judged him nor lectured him about his choice in actions. Most people would refer to you as Bonnie and Clyde - a pair of outlaws fighting crime with nothing but love. 

He loved the simplest things about you, the little nose scrunches when you patch up his cuts. He loves hearing your angelic voice reciting sonnets to him; Sonnet 116 was your favourite. Once he had an understanding of what Shakesphere was saying, he got the number tattooed. 

“I’m sure he’s just got lost on the way home. He’s clumsy like that.” Kiara reassured you but your gut was telling you otherwise.

Pope could sense your stress as you began to grip onto JJ’s jumper, his response was placing his arm around you giving your shoulder a tight squeeze.

“He’ll be okay. He’s JJ, he has survival skills of an ant.” Pope whispered letting your head fall into his shoulder as you forced yourself to watch an episode.

It was now 12am, and everyone was out like a light. You, however, were awake standing by the porch waiting for him to come home. 

“Where are you, JJ?” You whispered under your breath looking into the darkness. As the breeze was hitting your exposed skin, you sheleted inside wrapping his scent over your body letting some tears escape your eyes.

JJ makes his entrance late. You hear the door swing open more loudly than usual, causing your eyes to open. You don’t look at him, nor acknowledge him. He’s late and he knew you would be made when he doesn’t show up. He tried to say your name, his bruised lip failing at the first syllable, but he doesn’t need to finish, you were already on your feet to stop him from falling. His left eye is swollen, meaning he wouldn’t be able to see for a while. His face still bears congealed blood and his clothes were destroyed. 

“JJ, you seriously need to stop getting into fights… Everytime you walk through the door, a new shot of purple ruins your perfect tanned skin.” You sniffled as you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, but with a reassuring touch you began to nurse him.

Each bud stained more than the last, you could sense his embarrassment, shame and guilt as he let tears shelter through his cuts.

“I’ve got you, you are safe now.” you whispered as you finished cleaning him up. Although his face was now seen as a punching bag, you gracefully planted a small kiss to his forehead letting him know he was forgiven.

Since the bedrooms were occupied, the two of you had no choice to share the pull out. Helping JJ onto the bed, he immediately buried his head into your chest letting you shelter him from the monsters he ran from.

“I’ve got you..” You whispered once more before your eyes began to fall into a deep slumber as your mind was finally at rest.

The morning after couldn’t come any sooner, it felt like a couple of minutes since you closed your eyes. JJ was still out, his body was curled into yours as his light snores woke you along with the roaster John B decided to keep.

“What a beaut- what happened?” John B croaked, but immediately gave you an apologetic look as you placed your finger to your mouth. 

“He got into a fight, he couldn’t talk when he came in last night.” You whispered hoping JJ wouldn’t wake up, as he needed all the sleep he could get.

“Is there anything I can do?” John B always felt hopeless when he would find the two of you asleep on a pull out. It was either you having nightmares or JJ getting beaten up.

“Maybe some water, just in case he needs to feel strong again” You mumbled, looking down at how peaceful he was. 

You always loved the way his curly blonde locks invaded his face as he slept. It was usually him, spooning you but occasionally he liked it when you took charge. He liked being taken care of, since no one else bothered too.

“Jesus, He really out did his last fight.” Pope groggily spoke, starching his hair as he came out of the spare bedroom along with Kie who was brushed and ready to start the day.

“Should Pope and I get breakfast from the Wreck? I feel like we all needed a Carrera breakfast.” Kiara jokes to lighten the mood a little.

“Please.” You chuckled letting your finger brush through JJ’s messy hair. 

“Okay, let us know if anything happens.” Pope added on, letting Kiara pull his frame out of the picture and towards the car.

You looked over at John B for guidance in what to do, you were fairly new and even the bond you and JJ shared, you still felt hopeless.

“Someone needs to not let him get into all these fights. One day, he might not even make it back. I think you need to talk to him.” John B confined his feelings with you, but you couldn’t be the one to lecture him. 

“You’ve known him longer. He’s your best friend.” You argued back, giving John B some serious thinking. 

“You’re his girlfriend, you know him more than I do.” John B without realising labelled you, but it wasn’t true. You and JJ were friends, best friends. 

“I’m not his girlfriend, and I told you to shut up about that.” You confessed your feelings but you never would admit your desire to be with the blonde rebel. 

“Well, I know he likes you and if he wasn’t asleep, I’ll get those bruises myself. “ John B wasn’t good at keeping secrets, nor was Pope, which only left Kiara to be the trusted one in the group. 

As JJ arms were secured around you, the bladder inside you was nearly at breaking point. You slowly began to remove his tendered arms away from your waist but a whine escaped JJ’s lip.

“D-Don’t leave.” He choked out, opening an eye to see your face.

“I need to pee… I’ll be back, I promise.” JJ nodded, letting go of you as his arms flopped onto the mattress but his smile grew as your scent stayed with him.

“Watch him.” You nudged John B who was busy scrolling through Sarah Cameron’s Instagram.

“Aye, Aye Captain,” John B closed his phone, walking over to the bed to check on his best friend.

“Dude, what the fuck happened?” He immediately asked, he knew he wasn’t okay so he didn’t bother with that question.

JJ was trying to form words, “I-I ran into Topper and he mentioned andrea, talking about her as if she was some piece of meat. I couldn’t let him talk about my girl like that.” JJ grumbled, looking up as John B gave him a huge grin.

“I knew you liked her.” JJ shook his head, “I love her, man.” JJ confessed not noticing you were already standing under the door frame, listening to every word.

“I love you, too.” You swooned making your way over to him, planting a small kiss to his cheek.

“I’m so sorry for missing movie night and getting into another fight. I’ll promise I won’t get into more fights.” But you only chuckled as no matter how much you tried, you could never get that boy to stop fighting especially for the one he loves.

“Mhm, get some rest. Food is on the way.” You grinned, letting John B cringe over the way you planted soft kisses to his cuts.

“You two are adorably cringy .” JJ rolled his eyes, “jealousy isn’t a good look, bro.” John B scoffed at the remark looking at you to take his side.

“I agree with rocky. Not going to get anywhere with scrolling through her Instagram.” You sassed, heading JJ chuckle but winced immediately clutching into his stomach. 

“Serves yo- Food is here.” John B knew finishing that sentence wouldn’t be ideal so he lunged towards Pope, thanking him for his impeccable timing. 

As you let your friend set up the table, you noticed JJ pulling his weight up to face you.

“I mean it, I love you andrea.” JJ expressed his feelings again, which surprised you as he wasn’t the one to open up about certain things.

“I love you, JJ.” You reached in to kiss his bruised lip, ignoring all the aww’s coming from your friends.


	3. Desert Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sequel to Rooftop :)

Stealthily, JJ greeted himself into the back lawn of the house. He stood underneath the rose archway to avoid being seen by your mother who always strictly baked a batch of cookies at this given hour. He hears Topper’s whiny voice loud and clear, but immediately melted away when a sweet melody escape your own mouth making JJ swoon with admiration. He darted his eyes at the roof where your bedroom window was stationed, it was open ajar which JJ thanked due to his last encounter with the roof.

When the shadows of your family washed away, JJ knew it was his time to put his Pogue skills to the test. He stably made his body onto the roof, latching on the tiles as he hoisted his body weight up. When JJ finally came into contact with your window, he poked his leg through the entrance sliding his body through hoping to be greeted by you.

“Babe? You alive?” JJ whispered whilst he chucked his boots off letting his muddy socks dissolve into the warmth of your pressed carpet.

“I’ll be out in a second.” You shouted from the ensuite, wrapping a towel around your body. JJ heard the knob turn smirking wide as he knew you took a shower before he arrived.

“Are you just going to stand there? Aren’t you going to give your Romeo a hug?”

You nodded, running to his embrace. He let his arms wrap around your frame, pulling you into his chest as he brushed his thumb over the back of your neck. “You smell nice.”

“Thanks. I needed to wash away Topper’s smell of alcohol and drugs.”

JJ chuckled, kissing the top of your head. “I should be dating your brother. He is more up my street.”

You pulled away from his embrace causing JJ to whine wanting you close to him. “I’m kidding, baby. Are you going to come to the Kegger tonight?”

“Nope. You know I can’t come.”

JJ frowned but followed you towards your bed, watching you change into a loose t-shirt he gave you. “Why? We don’t have to even stay long… pretty please.”

You giggled, snatching the comb from your dresser. “You know Topper will be there and he can’t know that I’m dating you JJ. He will kill you.”

“I’m not scared of him, andrea.”

You repeated the motion to comb the knots out of your hair, walking towards him. “As much as I believe you, I can’t let him hurt you.”

“He won’t lay a finger on me. He knows not to cross me.” JJ confronted, causally moving the comb away from your hair. “I just want to show my girl off.”

You stared at him for a moment, admire his indigo darts as you moved closer to him. JJ stands there offering you a simple smile watching you lean your forehead on his. You both closed your eyes, letting the fear and excitement take over you.

“Thank you.” You barley say in a whisper.

“For?” He replies, his voice low and husky.

“Being the best boyfriend ever and making me happy.” Your voice wavers, leaning in and began to kiss his lips. JJ cupped your cheek, gently caressing your neck with his thumb as the kiss drastically became more fiery and passionate. Your hands roamed his body, feeling his muscles tense as you did that thing he liked with your tongue. JJ indicates your body towards the bed, letting you fall gently as he ventures over your body. You pull away, breathing heavily as you stare into his lustful eyes. No words were exchanged but JJ’s eyes were detailed with love and yours were filled with passion. He leaned in again but aiming his lips onto your neck letting you whimper out the anticipation of what could come next. You were ready for JJ to undress you, ready for him to feel you but the vibration from his pocket stopped him from doing so.

“I-Sorry. One sec.”

You chuckled, allowing him to check his phone. “Who is it?”

“Pope. He said that John B is in trouble. I gotta go help him.” JJ rambled, taking his body off yours making his way to put his shoes back on.

“Do you want me to come? I can come.” You asked, lifting your body up watching JJ tie his shoes up.

“No baby. It’s fine. I’ll be here later to cuddle you, okay? Promise me you won’t come after me.” JJ pleaded, giving you one final kiss.

“I promise.”

JJ quickly pecked your cheek, before he fumbled out of your window and slid down the roof to make sure he got a safe landing. You watch him run into the twilight, signing at how being with a Pogue always comes with abrupt messages and dangerous nights that JJ always has to dive into.

The night was getting colder and the mechanical sound coming from your clock made the wait time frustrating. You checked your phone and nothing new was shown; just a warning that a hurricane was approaching. You suddenly heard noises from the backyard, inching a smile as you thought JJ was here but he wasn’t. It was your brother, shaking like mad as Rafe guided him towards the kitchen. You slowly crept out of your room, rolling over towards the banister to try and get the scoop of what happened. When Rafe’s threat mentioned the word, pogue you darted towards your room to alert JJ.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” JJ yelled, tearing the chateau piece by piece to try and find his missing gun. “Where is it, Pope?”

Pope didn’t quite understand what was happening so he shot Kiara a look but, she wasn’t even paying attention.

“I lost the gun. I lost the fucking gun. I can’t find it anywhere.” JJ panicked, gripping his hair tightly. That was his only protection, and he managed to lose that.

“I’m sure it’s at the beach. I don’t even remember you picking it up, JJ.” Pope stated, trying to retrace the moments of the scene but the sound of John B screams, and Topper’s frantic breathing made Pope panic even more.

“I need to find that gun. It’s all I hav-” JJ’s words got interrupted by a loud noise coming from his phone. “Fuck, it’s andrea… Do I answer?”

Kiara nodded, “You have too. Topper probably came back home…Go to her and make sure she knows nothing. We will look for the gun.”

JJ nodded, running up to Kie as he gave her a tight squeeze. “Love you.” Kiara slapped his hand playfully. “Go to her.”

JJ never or knew that he could run this fast, he was dodging every light, sliding pass serval cars, and fell a couple of times. He eventually climbed onto the roof, not caring about the freshly new cut that bleeds onto his skin. His fist revealed a hard knock to your window that woke you from a daydream.

“JJ. Where were you? I was worried sick about you.” You hiccuped, signing in relief that he was well.

“I just had to clear things up. I’m here now, baby. I’m all good.” He reassured you with a tight hug and a light kiss to your forehead. He didn’t want to let you go, as the guilt was eating him alive. He didn’t even want to express or tell you what happened knowing you wouldn’t look at him the same as you did before.

“Is John B okay? Is everything okay?” You asked and JJ hushed you.

“Everything is okay. How about we get some sleep?” JJ hoisting you up, bringing the both of you to the bed. He slowly laid you down, admiring the t-shirt once again that fit perfectly on your body.

“God. You are so beautiful.” JJ breathed, jumping on the other side of your bed.

“JJ, did anything happen between the pogues and my brother?”

JJ glued his eyes shut. He hated lying, especially to you. “Nope. Probably just a miss understanding.”

You didn’t respond.

“Hey, um can I ask you something?”

You turned your body to face his, brushing the hair away from his face. “Anything”

“No matter what happens you will always believe me right? You wouldn’t think of me any different? Or, ever break up with me?”

You gave him a discombobulated look, trying to voice in answering his bizarre questions. “Nothing could ever make me think less of you. I love you, JJ.”

That’s all JJ needed to hear before he wrapped you close to his chest. You snuggled close to him as you heard his heartbeat mellow a little when you heard soft snores coming from his nose. Your eyes began to flicker finally allowing your body to rest for the night. 

\- 

“andrea, are you even listening to me?” Topper yelled from the other side of the island. He was firing harsh bullets to your heard, filling you in with the events that happened last night. You didn’t want to believe him, you knew JJ, he wouldn’t do something like this.

“Let me spell it out for you. Your psycho boyfriend put a gun to my fucking head. He tried to kill me.” Topper emphasis the word kill, letting it linger in your brain.

“I don’t believe you. JJ wouldn’t do that.” You defended him, you always did and will.

“He tried too kill me. Ask Kelce or Rafe.”

You shook your head, you didn’t believe him. “I want proof.”

Topper smirked, tossing his phone towards you. “You know how to play a video, play it.”

You didn’t want too. You didn’t want to believe him but the sounds of your boyfriend voice clarified everything. You stared at the phone, listening and watching the clip over and over again thinking it will go away but it just got worse.  
“That’s the JJ who you are sneaking around with.”  
“You must of provoked him. H-He wouldn’t do it for a random reason.” You hiccuped, throwing his phone back to him.

“Invite him over. If you really don’t believe.”

“I will.”

You: Come over later?

JJ: You got it baby

As you were about to lock your phone, Topper twirled around and walked up to you.

“Oh and andrea. Show him this… he was probably looking for it.” Topper handed you a bag, which you immediately opened revealing a gun.

\- 

“Hey, babe. Sorry, I had trouble with getting up on the roof. You really need to get that fixed…” JJ rambled, climbing into your window. He noticed that you weren’t in your room, which was strange as you texted him to meet.

“Babe?” He called again, checking to see if you were in the bathroom.

You emerged into the light, your body was trembling as you held the gun tightly in the pocket of your jumper. JJ walked towards you but stopped abruptly when you pulled the gun out. He eyed the object that you invited into the light, confused into how you managed to get his missing gun. JJ felt the lump in his throat thicken when he heard the gun rattle in your grip.

“Where did you get that…?”

You froze, “T-This is yours?”

JJ moved closer, attaching his hand onto yours as he retrieved the gun from you.

“W-Why didn’t you tell me?” You said quietly, hating how your body obeyed his touch.

JJ brushed his soiled-chipped thumb across the roughness of the object like it was meant to be in his touch. “I was going to.”

You shook your head, “Why didn’t you tell me when it happened?”

“I couldn’t.”

You glued your eyes shut, forcing the tear to drown your rouge cheek. You snitched your back but the shakes vibrating around your body attacked you into asking the question you didn’t want to ask. “Did you try to kill my brother?”

JJ’s shaky breath drastically changed into a wash of anger that he vowed to never show you. “He was going to kill John B. Was I suppose to just let him?”

You wanted to wrap his body into your own, you wanted to melt into his skin and allow him to trace kisses over your face as you giggled for him to stop. But, that wasn’t the JJ you saw standing in front of you. It was someone you were warned about in many stories that your father told you to never trust. “You weren’t supposed to do this. Not even a Kook would have done that.”

“You think I had a cho-”

“There’s always a choice, JJ.” You asserted but regretted instantly as you knew that JJ never listened.

JJ held onto his breath, stimulating the tears that escaped his azure mess. He was guilty, it was even shown as soon as his hand reacted to the gun. Holding it like he held you, clarifying to everyone around him that it was safe and no harm would be done.

“I can’t do the things you can, andrea. I’m not a Kook, I’m a Pogue with two sets of boxers. I know a Kook wouldn’t have done it. They would have probably got the police involved or their parents but, I don’t have that. I barely have a family, andrea. John B is my only family and we aren’t even blood-related.” JJ whispered into the air. “I made a mistake. Christ, andrea. I’m a fucking human and I was protecting my brother.”

“So, you had to do it?”

“andrea, he was going to kill him.”

“But, the way it happened… Did you really need to use a gun? Did you really not think of any other way? It seems like you wanted this, like you wanted to hurt my brother.”

You saw the bewildered look on his face. “What are you talking about? I didn’t have a fucking choice, andrea.”

Your tears welled up with sadness that no teenager should ever possess. You couldn’t even fumble the words to respond to his statement. Your mind replayed the video, forcing you to hear the cries coming from your brother and the threats falling out of JJ’s mouth. “All those times, those times where he would rally you boys up. You didn’t pull a gun to his head, JJ. You let it go." 

"You d-don’t believe me do you?” JJ squeaked finally having the strength to look into your eyes.

“I want to, JJ.”

JJ moved closer, “So, believe me…” He inched a little closer, but you stayed in gear. “Say you believe me, andrea.” He was an inch away from you, but your body didn’t react like it did yesterday. It wasn’t leaping into his embrace. It was frozen solid like the gun that was still safely tucked in his hand.

“T-Tell me how I fix this..?” He sobbed. “Tell me and I’ll do it.”

You let one final breath escape your runny nostrils, itching for your body to react, or even do anything. “G-Go. I just, go JJ.”

He didn’t listen. He already allowed the tears to freely drown him. His weeping was like an open wound. JJ clasped tightly onto the gun as his body shook. The sobs were stifled at first as he attempted to hide his vulnerable side but you broke that the minute he saw you hold the gun; his gun. He turned his body to face your window, looking directly at the moon that brought him to you six months ago. When he, at last, turned to face you, he only saw a picture of someone he lost. He knew exactly the type as that was the same image he had left of his mother. It was the face that made your body adjust and walked towards him. The vulnerability he effortlessly showed you made you want to cuddle him, whisper that it will be okay but, it wasn’t your job anymore.

“I love you, andrea.” He finally said, letting the moon drag his body out of your window as the light possessed him to not turn back. You saw his shadow leave but his presence was still there, mourning for you to rescue him but it wasn’t a stitch-up situation. Your body collapsed onto the carpet where a silhouette of JJ’s dirty combat boots was printed. As the last pear-shaped tear left your eyes, the moon finally shone a different way allowing you to not be reminded of the print of his shoe or the presence of his body. You grieved throughout the night, gripping onto the covers as the twilight blue vanished and a set of orange hues blinded you to make you witness a new day.

JJ’s body awoke when the light stung his eyes that forced his body to react with pain that you gifted him with. He didn’t dare to wake up the others as he couldn’t let them see him like this. He never came home broken or rallied them with events that only he was casted in. He usually told the alcohol but, he couldn’t even face the disappointment of the liquor dripping down his throat.

“Has anyone seen m- JJ? Are you good, bro?” John B rubbed his thick curly hair, still adjusting to the heavy rays of light that shined in his living room.

JJ forced his body to face John B’s. He made a sudden movement that awoke Pope.

“What is going on?” Pope asked rubbing his hands onto his eyes to remove the sleep. 

John B shrugged, “Ask JJ. He looks like he has seen a ghost.”

“T-this is your fault,” JJ whispered. John B titled his head, knowing full well that he heard something escape from JJ’s lips.

“What did you say?”

JJ tucked his hand into a fist colliding his arm with the lamp. “I said, this is your fault.”

Pope jumped out of his skin, quickly removing his body from the broken scene. “Dude what are you doing?”

John B knew something happened. His brotherly instincts alerted him when JJ carelessly began to throw every little item that stood in his way.

“You know it wasn’t my fault. Topper was trying to drown me.”

JJ let out a devilish giggle, “You just had to provoke him, didn’t you? You knew I was dating his sister. You knew that I would do anything to protect you so you kept winding him up.”

“He was trying to get with Sarah. My Sarah.” John B yelled, grabbing the nearest object he could find to defend himself. After the events that happened last night, John B was starting to feel a void in JJ.

“This bitch has brought nothing but harm to us. She is always the priority, she always has to come first.” JJ spat, looking at a recent photograph that was neatly framed on the counter.

“If it wasn’t for her you wouldn’t have even met andrea. So, you should be thanking her.” John B stated but JJ knew, he knew that he would have met andrea one way or another.

“She fucking hates me, John B. She can’t even look at me.” JJ screamed, tears flooding his skin once again.

“I didn’t ask you to put a gun to his head. That was on you.”

JJ dropped his body onto the floor, witnessing the mess that he created. “I’ve lost the one good thing in my life because you wanted to act all tough. I lost her and, I can’t get her back.”

Pope being the silent force ran to JJ’s fragile body, letting JJ fall back on him while Pope wrapped his body tight in his grip. “She will come around, JJ.”

“S-She can’t even look at me.” JJ sobbed into his Pope’s chest, clenching onto his t-shirt for support. Pope maneuvered his head to lock with John B’s eyes, gulping his spit as he heard JJ’s cries.

John B places the bat onto the table, sliding his body over to Pope’s cupping the two boys into his own. “We will fix this, okay?. I’ll get Sarah to talk to her..”

JJ nodded sniffling and rubbing his snort over Pope’s work shirt.

“Dry cleaning is going to have a field day” Pope muttered under his breath.

“W-What do I do? I need her. I really need her.”

Pope gently placed his chin on JJ’s clotted hair, unsure in how to answer this question. They held him for a moment, allowing his vulnerability rage the room. A sudden wind tore the boys apart, making John B’s head turn towards the door to face the intruder.

“andrea, what are you doing here?” John B asked, not evening thinking twice to let her in.

“I n-need JJ to show me how to use a gun.”

Pope’s eyes widened with shock, unleashing JJ from his embrace. “Come again.”

“I want JJ to show me how to aim and shoot.” You stated, this time you didn’t stutter. “I haven’t got time to play Dr. Phill. I need to know how.”

JJ reframed his body, handling his hand onto the countertop to lift his body up. He didn’t even believe he would ever hear you say those exact words, or even come here again.

“andrea… I’m sorry….” JJ chocked out.

“I know. Can you show me how to use a gun?”

JJ didn’t understand what he was seeing. He wanted to pour his heart out to you but the sudden shift in your eyes made him question the motive. “Why do you need to use a gun?”

“I need to make sure that my boyfriend or his friends don’t get harassed again.”

Pope shook his head, crawling away from the craziness that just entered the room. He didn’t or think that someone liked you wanted to turn rouge. On the other hand, John B didn’t even begin to process what was happening in his own home, he just let it happen like he does with everything.

“When do you wanna start?” JJ asked, walking up to you.

Pope waved his hand drastically in JJ’s face, splitting the two apart. “Why are you encouraging this? Please don’t turn her into a Bonnie, we prefer her as the sweet magnolia.”

You revealed a slight smirk onto your lips. “Exactly. You can use my sweet ass to scary the Kooks away.”

Pope wasn’t following. “You want JJ to teach you to hold a gun so you can scare your brother and his friends away?”

You nodded, “It’s not that hard Pope. It’s like a movie we once saw once.”

Pope pleaded his gaze to find John B’s who was occupied with a bottle of beer. “Y'all people are crazy. How are you okay with this? I need new friends.”

JJ rolled his eyes at his frantic friend, pushing him into a tight embrace. “When do you wanna start, magnolia?”

“Right now.”


	4. J'taime

“WHY don’t you just tell him how you feel? What’s the worst that can happen?” Kiara urges as it was remotely exhausting to see her best friend admire the blonde manic whose arms roamed another girl’s body.

You only simultaneously argued back before Kiara could gather more evidence on your unhealthy crush on JJ. "Um, lemme see… rejection, humiliation and it’s JJ, he doesn’t go for girls like me. He’s all up Emily May’s ass right now, I can’t compete with that.“

Kiara knew you to be indecisive when any subject involving JJ or feelings came to the surface. There isn’t a time where she forced you to spill your feelings out whenever you were alone with him. However, there has been many times where you’ve pushed past your fears to tell the 16-year-old how you felt but something bizarre always managed to slip in, causing you to crash down.

"Besides, it’s not like I haven’t tried… You remember that day when we went fishing?” You reminded the curly brown hair.

Attempt 1 - HMS Pogue

As your chipped indigo nail polish tangled with the transparent, glossy floods of water you pictured yourself roaming around the ocean, exploring new reefs and befriend a mammal that would be your right-hand women or man. You wanted to escape the island of misfits, segregation between rich and poor, the constant battle of whose higher on the food chain. It was all something out of a Shakespeare play, possibly Romeo and Juliet without the sudden deaths.

“Whatcha thinking about, little wave?” JJ fumbled across the small intact boat, sitting next to your frame.

“Do you think we will ever escape this island? Like, I just really want to live somewhere where we aren’t judged by our clothing nor from what side we come from.” You mumbled under your breath, looking deeper into the clear glaze streams of water.

“I always pictured us two fixing up one of the old houses on the Cut, having your blue shutters with a white front and I’ll have my own surf shop whilst you become an English teacher..” JJ’s vision of his future shocked you as he mentioned that he was certain you’ll be in it.

“You want me in your future?” You shyly asked hiding the blush that crept up on your cheeks.

JJ nodded, “Of course. I’ve known you all my life. We even dreamed about fixing up that old house since we came across it. You were in my past, now in my present, and I certainly want you in my future.”

After hearing that confession, you instantly knew this would be the perfect scenario and time to state your dying feelings for him, “Funny you should say that because I’ve always thought that you would always be in my life and I guess that It’s the perfect time to say-”

“Kie!” You whined, feeling the smell of the fish linger around your body as they flapped around yourself and JJ.

“You are welcome. I just caught dinner.” Kie muttered looking down at the position of your hands securely gripped onto JJ’s. When you finally made eye contact with her, Kiara gave you an apologetic smile because she knew why you got angry.

“Whoopsie.”

Kiara’s reaction only made her send you pepper kisses to your face to redeem herself. “You should’ve have warned me that you were going to spill the beans. If I knew, I would have dropped them on Pope.”

“It’s fine. JJ didn’t even want to know what I was going to say. He only rambled about our future and how he sees me in it.” You managed to slur through the liquid that trembled down your throat.

Kiara spat out her drink, chocking on the words that fumbled from your lips. “JJ was talking about his future and pictured you there?” You ignored the repetition of your words. “He definitely likes you then? No one would even say that If they didn’t like someone.”

You shook your head, “We have been friends since we were little. He is just scared of people walking out on him. Ask John B.”

“Ask me, what?” John B poked his frame out from the tree, lunging towards you as he wrapped his frame against yours.

“That myself and JJ have been friends since diapers. He doesn’t like me.” You argued but John B only laughed, shaking his locks onto your shoulders.

“That’s true but I grantee on Sarah’s life that he does have some affection for you. Remember when I scared the shit out of you at Mrs Crain?”

You rolled your eyes, “How can I forget? I was so close in telling JJ but you had to scare the shit out of me.”

John B rolled his eyes, “Listen carefully.”

Attempt 2 - Mrs Crain’s House

When John B branded our next destination, “abandoned house”, you were mostly contemplating about spiders, broken windows, rats and even piles of leaves. It wasn’t until you stood ajar from the mansion that only belonged to Mrs Crain; the scary lady who killed her husband according to JJ and Kiara.

“You’ve got to be kidding me? Mrs Crain’s house?” Your terror-stricken tone caused the Pogues to snickered as they proceed towards the iron gates that sheltered them from the horrors of an axe murderer.

“It’ll be okay, we are only here to see if she is still alive.” JJ’s stupidity was known in the group, although his slightly reassuring words put you at some ease. “So, who’s going in?” You questioned the group, certainly not aiming the question at Pope due to his ability to scream at any little creature or leaf he encounters.

“John B and JJ. Kiara and I will head towards the garden’s whilst you and Pope be our lookouts.” Sarah instructed the missions, only to find yourself and Pope smiling widely.

Pope gleamed in style resting his back against the bark of the tree that was once covered in the blood of Mrs Crain’s husband. “Has anyone seen John B?” Pope’s question only got ignored due to everyone preparing for the worst possible scenario.

“Hey, JJ… Before you go into the murderer’s house… I want to tell you something. Just, in case you die or become a hostage.” You prattle looking over at Kiara whose thumbs were up, which you only to proceed to tell JJ how you felt.

“I doubt that will happen, andrea. But, what do you need to tell me?” JJ grilled not really in the mood for cringe-worthy confessions.

“Well, I just wanted to say that I really-” Your voice deteriorated into a fatal screech feeling the pressure of JJ’s hand pushing you behind him, clenching onto his shirt with small trinkets of water escaping your eyes. 

JJ was churlish at the childishness of his best friend, “John B? What the fuck man?”

“You should have seen andrea face? It was legendary.” John B teased poking the sides of your frame but, you only slapped his hand away.

“Fuck you, Bird.” You barked storming away from the two men resulting into Pope’s affection of his embrace as he calmed your shaking limbs.

The party was getting heavier on end, the music was glaring around the peaceful trees that riddled with the wind. You noticed that John B finished the story only making you less confident in asking JJ out.

“This is exactly why I’m not asking him out. There have been too many times where things have gone wrong. It’s the universe telling me that I don’t belong to JJ and myself, or we have to accept that.” Your confidence belittled you every time JJ caught your wandering eye, he only invited you over to his spot but you declined.

“I still think there’s a chance that JJ might actually like you. He did protect you when I scared you? He wouldn’t do that to any girl, you know.” John B was rooting for his two best friends to finally condone their feelings for another.

“Whatcha all talking about?” Pope bulldoze the conversation flumping down between Kiara’s legs gazing at his friends.

“andrea dying crush on Maybank. She is too scared to tell JJ how she feels because she believes the universe is her enemy.” Kiara scorned making Pope release a frightening laugh of a memorable story about another scenario, you clearly didn’t need to be reminded of.

Attempt 3 - Beach

You whispered into the breeze, your eyelids fluttering as you breath into the saltness of the wind that invaded the curls on your hairless skin. Scrunching your toes, you felt the softness of the golden grains, still damp from the reoccurring tide. You gave into the trap of the horizon, the flaring hues od the sun melting above you felt like a painting. The everlasting sea is masked with different variations of blue, that embedded to a turquoise form of shade that reminded you of the eyes of JJ Maybank. You wiggle as you felt a monsoon of drops splatter onto your skin causing your vision to become clearer to see JJ smirking.

“You good, little wave?” JJ perturbed snatching the towel from the tote bag that always carried JJ’s needs, especially his secret stash that only you are aware of. You only nodded not settling to be lost in his ocean blue eyes that got you whipped in the first place.

“andrea?” JJ exasperate plopping down next to you which only made the voices of the wind take control of the speech that banned you from making a fool of yourself yet again.

“I’m good. I’ve just been thinking about things.” You didn’t want to intrigue JJ too much with your thoughts, especially when they are based on him and his actions.

“You can always talk to me… You know that right?” JJ hearted, letting his free hand trace the curl away from your perfectly structured face.

You smiled, “I know. It’s just.. do you ever feel like if you say something, it could either lead to something bad or good? Or, if you say this particular thing it could ruin anything? like a friendship..?”

JJ befuddled whilst you were rambling on about something he had no purpose of understanding or even wanting too. “I guess so? What’s brought all this talk? Is there something going on?”

His questions only made you skittish about confessing your love for him, but hearing Kiara’s word spiral inside your brain forcing you to confess but, JJ wasn’t helping not even in the slightest.

“I can’t believe I’m going to say this but, I really don’t want this to affect anything but I think I-” You were intervened by a football colliding with the back of your head causing your frame to fall into the lap of JJ who only chortle.

“Are you okay?” JJ tittered as he watched your body leave his sending him a sense of coldness that evaporated around him.

“Perfectly fine.” You grunted forcing your head to surface the haze of the yellow tones that expanded into balls of orange every second.

Once Pope ended his storytelling you only reciprocated with a small hit to his leg, “That was you who threw the ball at me. Seriously, Pope?”

Pope fortuitously became a light bulb moment as John B remember JJ’s exact words, “I did actually hear JJ say that he felt a weird vibe in his tummy recently like he even explained Mrs Crain’s house and the boat. I wouldn’t give up, andrea. I think JJ is slowly catching on and even might feel the same.”

“Nah. JJ isn’t into girls like me. Besides, it’s time to head to the slumbers. I’m taking the hammock.” You shotgunned like a child seamlessly running towards the hammock, lazily dropping your body onto the detached netting of the furniture.

“She does realise that JJ always sleeps there too, right?” Pope fumbled looking over at his two friends who shrugged.

“Oh, she knows,” Kiara smirked motioning Pope’s arm to escort her to the chateau, leaving her friend to innocently stare at the stars waiting for a certain boy to keep her afloat.

The sun rises as a canopy of bronze amid to the blue, bidding the stars to take their nightly rest. As the darkness surrenders, every dying colour of blues tingles of charcoal to a vibrancy of light colours. The Tourons were scattered around the beach, growling at the fresh beams of light that trickled down to their exposed burnt skin. The Pogues were all saturated around the chateau leaving yourself and JJ in the embrace of your bodies as the light breeze coordinated the swings from the hammock.

JJ was the first to surrender to the sun, alcohol never bothered him in the early hours of the morning. You envied that power of wisdom and JJ always made sure he flaunted his skills right in front of you, even when you didn’t acknowledge or initiate the conversation. Since your slumber was still intact, you never got to seek JJ’s azure blue eyes roam your body leaving yourself to spiral into theories that only you adopted.

“andrea..” He susurrate into your small inclined ears making your body shift around like a helpless child at a supermarket.

“Little wave…” He spoke again, gently fabricating his fingers to trace your golden skin that he effortlessly adored.

“Mhm…” You croaked not daring to open your lids.

“I have to get something off my chest… and I figured to do it when there are no distractions.”

You only chuckled at the response as from your friend’s memories, you controlled the word. “What is it, JJ?”

JJ puffed his chest turning your frame towards his own, making his body level with your own. “Fuck, how do I even say this?” His timid tone of the uncertainty of the outcomes caught up to him, but you weren’t going to push the boy.

“Well, you know those times where you always need to tell me something and something bizarre would happen?” JJ roundabouted his words only to make your face furrow in annoyance as you didn’t need this at dawn.

“Don’t remind me.”

JJ chuckled at the response, feeling a sense of positivity from his confession he was about to play. “Well, I finally caught on what you were trying to say and, I’m only rambling because I really like you and I know I’m always flirting with Tourons but that was only to make my feelings vanish but, they can’t and please stop me because I think I’m going into a word coma.”

You were stunned at the confession but a little envy of the universe not screwing it up as they did to you. “I like you too, JJ. I mean, I tried telling you three times but something always managed to screw it up. But, I wasn’t expecting you to even like me back? Like? Are you sure?”

JJ nodded, “Definitely. So, will you go on a date with me, little wave?”

You blushed at the nickname, “I’d love too.”


	5. Ratatouille

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ Maybank is a clever little rat. Always stealing and never getting caught. Until, he finds himself in the presence of your own home and you finally catch him.

“Have you heard about the little rat who keeps stealing our food? Just the other day, my finest roast chicken was taken. I bet it’s those dirty Pogues.” Mrs Andrew’s who resident three doors down complained to a few other figures, who slyly had there eye on your mother’s newest trinket.

“You should take it as a compliment, Mrs Andrew’s. It means your cooking is divine.” You endeavour into her daily rant hoping she could see this in a different light.

Mrs Andrew vexed at your attempt to see the light in this particular theft, “ That piece of chicken costs me 30 dollars. I don’t pay for my food to be taken, young lady.”

You threw your head back, squaring your shoulders with charismatic movement whilst hearing Mrs Andrew’s bicker about a false accusation that you might be seeing a Pogue. As the daily neighbour meeting elongated into hours of constantly whining, you decided to seek refuge into a certain Cameron.

You constrain your body to accompany Rafe, your trusted advisor and best alcohol dealer. “Rafe. I need alcohol, pronto.”

Rafe disapproved your request, seeing you suffer was a blessing and a curse to his sicken mind, “Mrs Andrew’s giving you a hard time?” You nodded, freely motioning your head to rest into his chest.

“She’s claiming I’m sleeping with a Pogue because I defended the ‘rat’ that steals her god damn chicken.” Even the mention on the claim provoked you making you feel slightly uncomfortable that you had that potential to sleep with a Pogue.

“Don’t you fancy the Maybank kid?” Rafe’s eyebrow furrowed knowing too much about your personal life.

“I don’t fancy him. I just see him delivering my groceries.” Rafe prompted attacked your false claim by falling your emotions further.

“So staring at him for three minutes straight and, finding it hard to say 'thank you’ really gives the ’ I don’t fancy him’ vibe.”

You awarded Rafe with the finger, gravitating away from his presence before you do something you’ll regret.

✿✿✿✿

“JJ, A chicken? Really?” Kiara was slightly miffed by the actions that her best friend accomplishes the night before. JJ rose from his worn-out deck chair that somehow stayed afloat giving the circumstances of the holes present.

“What are you on about, Kie?”

Kiara watched JJ fumble his way towards her, his walk was mistaken for zigzags which only met she had to handle a drunk JJ. “You stole Mrs Andrew’s chicken and many more things.”

JJ remotely failed to make a face to the name, shrugging his shoulder he twirled away from Kiara, “Mrs Andrew shouldn’t be so worked up about a fucking chicken. If I did take the chicken, shouldn’t she take it as a compliment?”

“You didn’t have to steal it, JJ. You could have just asked me and I would have gotten you groceries.” Kiara abbreviated JJ’s response, hoping the statement she announced stayed in JJ’s mind the next time he decides to steal.

Stealing for JJ was like breathing. He didn’t need to, of course - but, he needed to survive. It was like a curse his father placed when he turned to alcohol for pleasure. His friend tried to make him stop, but he couldn’t break the curse. He always saw stealing as the only sensible way to survive in the Cut. In this Pogue life, you worked two jobs and were lucky enough to earn a tip. JJ wasn’t going to rely on just an hourly income for himself and his drunken father, he needs cash, immediately.

It started with small items, food to help him function for the day. But, as he successful outsmarted Heyward, he thought bigger and placed his icky nose on the other side of the island known as 'Figure 8.’ Figure 8 was JJ’s dream, a dream that one day he would go full Kook and have a golden statue of himself.

“Noted.” JJ bluntly responded but Kie wasn’t remotely sure if JJ even took anything she told into account.

JJ watched the sea, lost in the rhythmic percussion of the harsh waves crashing onto the sand. His eyes watched the sunset, spreading into its last ounce of orange rays before twilight awakes. His lips bear the semblance of a smile, just enough to show that he knew what house he wanted to enter, whatever the consequences he was adamant to have another decent meal. JJ landed in Figure 8, a town he knew well from his kleptomaniac days. Since he got the heads up that Mrs Andrews was on the hunt, he vowed to take the beachfront.

His stomach commences into a harsh growl, the pain was noticeable and so was a house. It was three downs up from Mrs Andrews, a typical white framed fence with artificial flowers and wide backyard. JJ’s wandering eye teleported him towards the gate, a gate he began to familiarise when his hand touched the newly painted wood.

“Mrs Y/L/N House…” JJ whispered to himself. When JJ’s movement came towards the garden he noticed the door left ajar, a scent rushed out of the house and suffocated JJ’s nostrils making his belly flip with joy. He knew he couldn’t get into trouble due to the door being already open which was odd for Figure 8. JJ approached the door and scanned the ghost-like kitchen to see if anyone was awake.

No one was seen.

JJ pushed the door and it swung open with ease, a blast of air-conditioned of a cold streamed past him, with light jazz escaping through the night. He tiptoed inside, squinting his eyes shut as he didn’t want to draw attention to himself. He shamelessly headed from the double magnetized fridge covered with pictures of you and magnets from different states.

“Why do Kook’s have beautiful children?” JJ murmured, haltingly placing his hand over the handle letting the momentum of the fridge open revealing a whole stack of food.

“Tempting. What do you fancy tonight, JJ?” He asked himself, fiddling around with the products making sure everything was neatly stacked the way he found it. JJ took out a plate of half-eaten cheesecake, along with a bottle of coke with some fruit on the side.

“I found dessert, but I need dinner. C'mon pretty girl, what did mama make ya?” JJ eyes darted around the island, checking if there were pots present or even a plate visible to him.

“Bingo.” JJ teethed with joy as he noticed a pan neatly resting on the stove. “Come to JJ.”

As JJ swayed his arching body towards the stove, he smelt the rich scent evaporate around him causing him to gag a little, “This has to do…”

JJ tasted the dish, it looked like someone effortlessly threw random vegetables onto the pan and called it a day. “This is fucking disgusting.”

“Tell me about it.” You chuckled, repelling the smell of your mother’s failed attempt of Ratatouille, and amazed that a boy with the same age demolished the meal in three gulps. “Of all things you could eat, you choose that?”

JJ froze insight, ceiling his eyes shut with a combination of a curse word leaving his lips, “Please don’t call the cops.”

“I wasn’t planning too, Maybank.” He was stunned by your response and the mention of his surname.

“How do you know me?” JJ dumbly interrogated the girl, trying to form a vision but the darkness around them forbade him.

You chuckled, as JJ tried to figure out a time where he would have met you.“You deliver my groceries every Sunday. You are friends with Pope Heyward, I usually give him a can of beer whenever he is alone.”

“Beer girl? No fucking way.”

You bowed letting out a quiet laugh. “I’m guessing you are the person who stole Mrs Andrew chicken? and, If you really are that hungry I can make you mac n cheese?”

JJ hurled when the name entered the room, “The ungrateful bitch. She should be glad I stole her chicken. She’s hella of a good cook, better than your ma’s.”

“Anything is better than my mother’s cooking. I sometimes ride down to the Wreck for a decent meal. Mr Cerrera’s food is the best.” You praised the Cerrera’s talent whilst you attempted to make Mac n Cheese for the hungry boy.

JJ sent a smirk to his fond smile, “I’m best friends with their daughter. Even though, I’m not their cup of tea… I still get scraps that ungrateful Touron’s don’t finish.”

You envied the Pogue life, even more now as JJ began to blabber on about his adventures of surfing during the hurricane’s, going to Mrs Crain’s and Rixon’s Cove. You liked being a Kook, you had everything you wanted and more but, something was missing. You had friends, Rafe mainly when he wasn’t trying to get into your pants and his sister, Sarah but, It wasn’t nearly as great as JJ’s friends.

“You okay there?” JJ snapped your train of thoughts, placing his hand over yours.

You gave JJ a cramped smile as he took charge of stirring, “Yeah. I was daydreaming.”

JJ didn’t say a word, knowing it wasn’t just a daydream thought. “Cute. How about you come and hang out with us? As for us, I mean the Pogues? But, If you want to hang out just us two…” You cut JJ with a light kiss to his cheek causing a heat of pink to arouse him.

“Taking that as a yes.”

You laughed, scooting him away from the stove. “You are my guest. Sit down and I’ll give you your food.”

JJ did as he was told, hearing your bossy attitude take charge aroused him. “Yes, chef.”

You delivered JJ his meal, watching him devour as if it was his last. The small moans escaping from his lips gave you confidence that you weren’t a bad cook. “JJ, slow down. It’s not going to run away.”

“I think you have scored the best cook of Mac n Cheese. I’m definitely coming here, again.”

You were meaning to question the boy on how he cleverly entered your house, “How did you even get inside? The alarm was on.”

“Simple. the back door was open slightly. Someone must of-” JJ stopped when a gasp escaped your lips.

“Fuck. I forgot to close it.” JJ chuckled at the clumsiness of your mind. He managed to figure you out in 10 minutes, which he didn’t mind doing.

“It’s okay. Maybe you forgot for a reason?” JJ tried to flirt his way into the situation, but you were more infuriated with yourself.

“You saying we were destined to meet, Maybank? I thought a Pogue and Kook don’t get along or date.” You translated the rules of the two tribes made by Rafe and, JJ.

“Fuck the rules. I tend to break them.” JJ shrugged looking around as he proved his point.

“I see. Well, my mother is making spaghetti bolognese tomorrow? I’ll leave you a plate outside.” You winked, gathering his empty plate.

“And if it all fails, I’ll treat you to a nice dinner at the Wreck. My treat…” JJ rambled not wanting to leave your house but, he knew he had too.

“You mean, free food at the Wreck?”

JJ pouted at the response. He was hoping for a simple nod.

“It’s a date, Maybank.”


	6. Take it back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a terrible fight leads to a tragic news report. ( this is based on unsaid emily by charlie from jatp)

You were staring at the television set in John B’s living room, the one he had installed two weeks prior. You were in a state of shock, eyes awash with tears; your hands gripped tight on the broken oak table that was scattered with loose packets of chips and empty beer bottles. Gripping for dear life, like if you let go the earth would open up and swallow you whole. 

It was as if you could feel your brain shutting down, desperate to block out the impending pain; the synapses were firing but your body refused to respond, not processing the words the newscaster had said. Your body wasn’t functioning, you couldn’t comprehend the news even as you read it on the screen. This can’t be real. This isn’t happening.

A raucous gale summoned you from your state of shock, rewiring your sockets to puncture the words into your pounding head. As the realization hit you, you sank to your knees in the direction of his bedroom, sobs erupting from your chest. His door was ajar, just in case. Your body was unable to bear it, the pain was palpable and it came in waves, just like the ones that had taken him from you. 

JJ had been a gift from God, who snatched him back seemingly just as quickly. It wasn’t his time, you thought, he wasn’t ready. From your mouth came another cry, so raw that even the Tourons that walked past had troubled tears in their eyes. Everyone adored him, it was hard not to. Nineteen years wasn’t enough, he needed more time. The way God took the blonde beauty from you, it wasn’t an equitable nor strident way to teach someone a lesson.

The last moments you both shared together crept into your head, and you cursed your heart for letting him vanish. The unspoken words that didn’t surface until now made you attack the tainted floor with the beer bottle that was closest to your palm.

The words from the tv rattled around in your brain, letting you feel the hurt that the blonde had felt not long before. You battled internally, begging the universe not to let you relive it, but you were reluctantly thrown back to the last conversation you had with him.

“Don’t you fucking walk out that door, andrea. I’m not done.” The cacophonous tone that left JJ’s swollen lips frightened you as you felt it rattle through your body, but it wasn’t enough to make you face him.

“Turn around and face me,” he demanded, discomfort coursing through him as he envisioned a piece of his father in the cracked mirror in the distance. JJ had absorbed all the phases that the bastard threw at him, and he knew from experience how to make you listen to him, like he had listened to his father. 

“You shouldn’t have gone through my stuff. It’s private and you vowed you wouldn’t the moment I asked you to be my girl.” He gritted his teeth in annoyance; nothing could ever be kept secret, and JJ grew to hate that.

He was allowed to keep some things to himself, there was no rule stipulating that a person should always tell their significant others about every aspect of their life. Everyone is entitled to privacy, JJ especially, since his reputation made him an open book with terrible handwriting. 

“I was never your girl,” you replied, choking the last word out. You had lost all trust in him. You couldn’t force yourself to face him, not in the state he was currently in. It was perfectly visible that he was intoxicated; you could smell the alcohol and weed, his two favourite things in the world.

It was like a broken record, and you couldn’t stop the disappointment that bled out of your eyes as you saw the boy in front of you, the one you loved, transforming into his father.

“Bullshit. You know that you’re my girl. I wouldn’t be wearing these stupid bracelets if you weren’t. I wouldn’t allow you to have a matching shark necklace. I don’t feel the need to flaunt it every second, people know when to back off.”

You eventually turned around, taking in the sight of your boyfriend as he slung another large gulp down his throat; you watched him pull a face as the liquid peacefully flooded his tummy.

“If I was your girl, you wouldn’t be sexting other girls. You wouldn’t leave me alone with a bunch of strangers to show hospitality to girls who you won’t even remember the next day." 

The hard truth lingered in the air, held taught by the tension that existed between you. He could feel the tension tighten around his body, trapping him, as his indiscretions came to light. He denied them, regardless of the proof that was shown.

"What are you trying to say? You’re delusional. This is what happens when you hang out with Sarah. You are manipulated into believing that I’m not capable of being loyal to a girl. You know loyalty means an awful lot to me.” JJ sunk his body into the pull-out, resting his half-empty bottle on the armrest. “Sarah and Scarlet have gotten into your head. I warned you about Kooks, you knew what Sarah’s history was like. Why do you believe her over your oldest best friend?”

Sarah did have a terrible reputation when it came to relationships but had since proven herself to be loyal. She never broke her promises to John B or to you, and JJ was well aware of that.

“Stop blaming other people for your mistakes, J. That’s not how this works. A relationship is based on two people, not the whole island. Just admit that you weren’t faithful to me,” you begged, leaning your waist against the door frame and gazing at your boyfriend, who scoffed at the gesture to bury this fight.

“I didn’t cheat. I simply messaged another girl who wasn’t you. You never get mad when I message Kiara. Why get mad at Bethany?” JJ huffed, sinking further into the pull out, hoping it would erase him from this conversation.

You weren’t taking any of his bs answers. It wasn’t fair that JJ normalized sexting other girls. A fire grew within you, spreading faster than JJ’s body count. “Have you ever looked at yourself? You sound just like your father - you’re even acting like him. This isn’t the boy I fell in love with." 

With that, you turned on your heel and headed away from the chateau, not wanting to waste another breath on your boyfriend. If he wanted to act like an adult, he knew where to find you.

You didn’t even make it out of the driveway before JJ snatched your arm, stopping you from leaving John B’s property. You were terrified of the person who tightly gripped your arm, eyes brimming with hatred.

"Fuck you,” JJ spat, before pushing you away from him. The poison in his voice made your tears escape in a steady stream down your face; the floodgates had opened and you didn’t know how to close them. As you fumbled to stand, you watched him sprint into the darkness that was already waiting for you.

The outlines where the enemy lay became more visible as a canopy of gold burst over the indestructible mass of water; the calming of a sunrise over the ocean having the opposite effect on you today. Your body became tense listening to the sound of the waves, shuddering at the sound of them crashing onto the rocks that you once trusted. You watched quietly, mesmerised by the pain, as if the movement of the water choreographed your thoughts. 

You felt his presence before you saw him, he didn’t dare to speak unless he was spoken to. John B walked and stood beside you, looking out at the water with a deep breath. You looked at him for a moment, before turning back to the water. When the words wouldn’t come, tears replaced them, the numbness inside you taking over. John B watched you silently, feeling useless; he knew he couldn’t prevent your pain, only alleviate it. He wanted to reach out to you, to communicate through his hands that he was here, ready to be let in. Your eyes were locked on the horizon, and you could almost see the accident that you were now blaming yourself for. 

After some time, you accepted his presence and put your head on his shoulder. He was the closest you could get to JJ, the only living thing that could keep you from not joining your dead boyfriend. Although you didn’t have a family, you had something that JJ always believed to be stronger than any current.

“They all send their love,” John B said softly. You didn’t move a muscle, and kept your eyes on the ocean, waiting for him to return.

“He always came back, always. Why didn’t he come back?” Your voice was quivering, breaking at the end as you collapsed into John B’s arms, your face buried in his neck as you sobbed. You pressed your whole body into his, as if you could transfer some of your pain to him through your skin. 

John B allowed you, squeezing you tightly in his arms. All he could do was hold you, and let you know that he wasn’t going anywhere. He wasn’t going to try and make things better, nothing he could do or say would make up for the death of your best friend. The memories of the thirteen years of chaos and laughter were all you had left of him; the few polaroids you had taken with him weren’t enough. Nothing would ever be enough. 

“Mind if I join?” JJ’s soothing voice lingered through the silence of your thoughts. He wasn’t one to evoke intimacy nor show it unless he was in agony. You silently bobbed your head, scooping your bum slightly to the left of the hammock. He plotted his body down causing the net to fold you onto JJ’s chest, accidentally brushing your hand on his impressive biceps.

“Eager are we?” JJ teased, looping his free arm around your neck as an invitation to stay. You gently caressed his long curly locks, listening to the lullaby of the wind. It wasn’t something you and JJ did, usually you would bond over a surfing tournament or liking the new sheriff. 

“Why aren’t you inside watching the movie?” you whispered, not wanting to disturb the earth around you. JJ shrugged his shoulders, debating on telling you the real reason why he was outside cuddling you and not screaming at the motion picture. John B had alerted him that something about you had changed when he noticed the small glances and extra hospitality you gave to JJ. JJ wasn’t educated in feelings and emotions, so he struggled to recognise those sudden changes himself. 

“I wanted to be with you. For whatever reason, I like this. I like being close to you. It makes me feel wanted."JJ always struggled with saying the right thing and rarely allowed himself to be open and honest. With Pope’s help, Kiara’s logic and the aid of a couple of beers, he allowed himself to be vulnerable with you; he could tell by the smile on your face that what he had said was working. 

"You are always wanted. I like being close to you too, it’s like I can finally be at peace when we are moulded into one.” You laughed at your metaphor that JJ surprisingly understood. He wanted to take a moment to admire your features; he wanted to kiss every little mole on your body. He wanted to say all the things John B said to Sarah but, his pride was too high for him to conquer. 

Luckily, you understood; you didn’t need a rehearsed statement to know how much you meant to him. He’d rather show you than tell you, which for you, made this relationship extra special. It wasn’t forced or cringey, it was you and JJ. 

“I know for sure that 30 years down the line, you’ll be the one to rescue me from prison. Not John B, and definitely not Pope. Imagine the lecture,” JJ moaned, already picturing the situation in his head. “I guess I want to still be able to do this, sit in a dusty hammock watching the fireflies flutter as both of our hearts beat for each other." 

You slowly inch your body up to plant him a small kiss on his cheek but JJ’s quick reflexes made you seed his lips. It wasn’t forceful or a mistake that your bodies wanted you both to touch, it was like the universe prepared this gesture from the beginning, and you both didn’t hesitate to pull back. 

"I want to grow old with you.” JJ mumbled on your lips, swiftly stroking your cheek with his fingers. You blinked with the movement, smiling a little as you patched another kiss to his lips. 

“I want to grow old with you, too." 

Hand in hand, John B and yourself ambled towards the Wreck; a friendly atmosphere and JJ’s favourite place to eat. John B didn’t rush the stroll, instead he took in the artefacts that he never appreciated before. It seemed that JJ’s death inspired everyone to appreciate what was around them, beside them and in front of them. You, however, didn’t want to take in what this town offered, you became a threat to the ‘paradise on earth’ they claimed this wretched place to be. It had become the antithesis of paradise.

"Y-you want to go? We can always head back?"John B’s shaky breath indicated to you that faces would be turned and whispers would be exchanged. You gripped his hand tighter, silently telling John B’s mind that you needed to eat. You always needed to eat after a beach visit and had JJ always made that a ritual. It was the small, seemingly insignificant things that had made you fall for him. 

"I’ll get Kie to open the back door for us. You can stay there until you’re ready.” It was as if John B could hear the ticking bomb in your chest that threatened to explode at any minute. He smiled kindly at you, trying to stabilise you and be the rock that you so desperately needed. You didn’t smile back, but slightly tilted your head to thank the boy for his hospitality and kindness. Simple gestures instead of words were how you expressed yourself best, according to JJ. 

Before John B could take a step towards the lively restaurant, he noticed a drunken figure that was supported by the bricked wall behind him. When you saw what John B saw, you were frozen in shock. The man was infamous on the island; he used to be loved by all before his wife had taken off. It was the shaky breaths and smell of cheap beer that caused the tears to formulate again, and John B’s brotherly instincts pushed your body behind his. 

You painted a fist in John B’s shirt, shaking slightly as the man got closer. “L-Let me see her,” he slurred through his teeth, chucking the half drunk beer to the side. You silently fixated your eyes on the shattered glass, picturing your heart when the news lady confirmed the name of the boy they had dragged out of the water. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Luke. Go home,” John B responded curtly. He was angry but he didn’t want to upset you, keeping his voice firm but strong to ensure that Luke would listen. This was the last thing you needed, and John B swore to himself the night of JJ’s disappearance that he would protect you at all costs.

“Y-andrea, he left you this. Please let me give it to you… it was his dying wish.” Luke fumbled with his pockets, pulling the letter out before holding it out to you. You could tell he was holding back tears, but you refused to show empathy to the man who abused your love. You didn’t want anything from him, you wanted to scream at him, hit him, make him hurt like you hurt, like JJ had hurt. You thought about taking the letter from Luke and tearing it into a thousand pieces. There was no use, it wouldn’t undo any of the damage that had already been done; it wouldn’t bring JJ back. You snatched the crumpled letter out of the drunken bastard’s hand without a word. 

“It was the last thing he wrote,” Luke said, before turning and stumbling down the street. You looked to John B, his eyes filled with concern. You folded the letter and slipped it into your back pocket. You didn’t have the courage to open it right now. John B nodded before taking your hand in his, starting to walk back towards the chateau. You had endured more than you could handle for one day. Luke’s words still rang in your head, ‘the last thing he wrote’. You began to imagine JJ sitting down and writing a letter, addressing it to you. Had he known it would be the last one he would ever write? 

“You fucking come out of that room boy! I’m not letting you walk out on me!” Luke’s words hit the wall harder than his fist had. JJ looked to the freshly painted blue walls to remind himself of calmer days. His favourite spot was in the ocean, the tranquility of the beach a stark contrast to his turbulent home life. He was safer there, where Luke couldn’t reach him. JJ was scared, lost and overburdened; he had persuaded himself to stay in this town when everything else in him screamed that he should leave. 

JJ knew he had to get away, he couldn’t stay in his home for much longer. He feared he wouldn’t live long enough to witness the smile on Pope’s face when he got his scholarship. He wouldn’t be able to see your smiling face anymore. He needed to leave, even temporarily, so he could come back to the ones he loved. He gathered his things in a backpack, some essentials and other sentimental tokens that he might need for one of his sleepless nights. Something to remind him of you.

Luke’s fists slammed against JJ’s bedroom door, he grew increasingly angry and continued to hurl profanities at his son. He was saying anything to evoke some reaction, threatening JJ, his friends, you. That shook JJ to his core, every word about you felt like it was piercing his skin, threatening to bleed him dry. 

Blocking out his father’s threats, JJ managed to write a one page letter addressed to you. He tried to keep his handwriting tidy but his grip wasn’t strong enough to stop the shakes. He remembered that you were the only talented person that could read his handwriting, understanding the mistaken spelling and poor grammar. You addressed his dyslexia, demanding each year at school that the teachers would get JJ extra help, as you refused to move up unless JJ did. 

As he snuck out his window, a heavy rain cloud showered from above, as if cursing at JJ for running away from his problems. It had to be now, he just had to keep running. The storm howled on, soaking him to the core. His wet clothes became heavy, weighing him down as he ran for his life. As he looked up, the christmas lights hanging from the chateau felt like the light at the end of a tunnel. As he got closer, he saw the light on in the spare room, his room. 

JJ’s eyes were glued to the window, trying to make out the shadow of the person inside. He saw you, tears in your eyes as you hugged his favourite sweater, pressing it into your face. You were brought back to the fight you had, the pain in your eyes as he practically spat back in your face. He heard the threats this father had made, the insults that constantly plagued his mind. “They’re better off without you.” And in that moment, he decided that you were. He took one more glance at you, smiling at his longest friend and walked away from the chateau. 

His mind was racing, he hadn’t thought this far. He needed to get away, but he couldn’t burden his friends with all of his baggage. Luke was right, they were better off without him. As his mind raced, unsure of where to go next, he found himself walking to the only place he could ever think clearly. 

JJ decided that a quick swim would do him good, taking his mind off everything that had happened in the past few days. It was his sanctuary, a place where his mind was clear and he let go of the anger that had built up inside him. As he dove into the water, the tears staining his face became one with the ocean, erasing from his cheeks and leaving a clean slate. 

JJ ventured farther than he usually did, feeling bold. He needed to clear his head and this was the best way he knew how. The shockingly cold water pulled him down, hard, the current much stronger than he was. As JJ tried to find the surface, the water jerked him around forcefully, leaving him unable to tell what was up or down. Panic coursed through his veins, and he struggled to catch his breath. He tried desperately to fight the currents, but they thrashed him just like his father had. His brain became fuzzy with the onset of asphyxia, and he saw your face. You. He couldn’t leave you, not like this. The thoughts only made his heart beat frantically, desperately needing oxygen. He fought harder with the tide, screaming as he tried with all his effort to swim up but the force of the ocean forbade him. 

His body gave up, all of his energy leached out of him and into the water as he surrendered to the force of the currents. He couldn’t fight, not any longer. He had been fighting for years and he didn’t have the strength to keep doing it. The ocean put an end to his suffering; the place that had once been his safe haven became the place where he laid to rest. The current would take him home, returning him to the sand where he had left his backpack full of clothes and a faded picture of his friends all smiling.

As you waited for the twilight moon to appear in the sky, you sheltered yourself inside JJ’s room. With Luke being away, you knew that it was the only place you could say goodbye to your soul mate, a life that was taken by a punishment that his father should have gotten. 

The letter was still sealed shut as you held it tightly in your hand. You needed to read it, it was his dying wish, and you didn’t want to play with the universe after what had happened to your boyfriend. You spied the candle you had bought him months ago to mask the smell of weed and alcohol when you slept over. You smiled a bit at the memory. After lighting the candle, you carefully unfolded the paper and took one last heavy breath before you began to read. 

Dear andrea/N,

I should’ve turned around, but I had too much pride. I know I didn’t get to apologise but if I could take us back, if i could just do that and write in every empty space the words, ‘I love you’ in replace then maybe then time wouldn’t erase me. If you could only know that I’ll never let you go and the words I most regret are the one I never meant to leave or have the guts to say. 

I will make everything right with you, I don’t care how long it takes. I want you to know that I love you, I always have and I always will. I’ll come back for you, I promise. You are my anchor, and I know I’ll see you soon. Nothing can take me away from you, this is forever. I’ll see you at the next wave. 

I can’t wait to grow old with you. 

Yours, JJ. 

As you read the letter, JJ watched you; you couldn’t see him but he saw you. He was sitting by the window, tears pricking his eyes as he saw your legs go out from underneath you as you crashed onto his bed, unable to hold your sorrow as you clenched the letter and sobbed. He wanted to read the letter to you, say all the things he had been meaning to say, but he couldn’t; he could only watch over you now, unable to intervene. He could hear the soft sobs escaping you as you cried onto his bed, soaking the covers that still smelled like him. 

JJ laid beside you as you both watched the dancing flame on his nightstand. He wanted to let you know that he was here, present and holding you like he always did. JJ’s eyes were fixated on the fire, focusing on finding a way to let you know he was still with you. He would still be with you, whenever you needed him. As the flame blew out suddenly, you turned to see the window was closed and the door was shut; the room with no breeze had somehow extinguished the flame.

JJ. 

“I can’t wait to grow old with you, too,” you whispered into the dark, hoping that he could hear you. You were comforted by the thought of him being with you, watching over you forever. You could still feel his presence in the room where you had always fallen asleep in his arms. That thought was enough to finally allow you to rest. You were ready to take on the next day, for him, ensuring that he’d never be forgotten on this island you sadly called home. 

☼☼☼☼


End file.
